Today marks the two year anniversary of the day my Mother went home to join our Father in Heaven. This entire week perhaps the entire month I have been irritated or low on tolerance. Yes, I had many other things going on. One in particular a very close person to me, a person I have now discovered I love deeply - I nearly lost him. All of us are blessed for his healing. Thank You Lord! Of course I prayed over him like madness; God blessed us with more time. WOW.
However, not until today did I see the blessings because I had felt myself sinking into a "what about me" little pity-party. Granted I was there, being there for him, doing my best to take care of him before, during and after him being in the Hospital. Still - I didn't realize all of these pint up feelings of abandonment, and emotions of loss, emotions of having no control, having no influence; all of those feelings were rushing in, and mixing in with the fear of losing him. This wow person I had finally found. It hit me today. He is my person now, I have already connected in so many ways, he already totally knows me - and he settles me, loves me, encourages & supports me, he listens to me, advises me, and helps me get centered with God. Everything my Mother did and so much more. What a total blessing - thank you Lord. Thank you!
Darn it I still miss my Mother, as much as she totally drove me crazy, she was my person. The person I could go to, talk to, would settle me and help me get centered with God. Now I know there was so much of her that I didn't know. Oh gosh I want to know, I want to connect, I want closure also. So what are we doing in remembrance of her? What is a person supposed to do to move on from these paralyzing emotions?
How do we get past the past?
I spent a few days in study, thinking, praying, reading and came up with the below Prayer. I have written and published a version of this prayer before. I have modified it for a different kind of loss. For the moving on sort of need, motivation, most importantly :: if we are so caught up in our past, we can never have our NOW. I don't know about you, I want my now, I want that freedom, and I am so thankful scriptures are there to point out how we can have our NOW. The past is the past, no matter what it is, thank you Jesus! The Prayer as well as the scripture references are below.
I pray for you and your family to experience what I have - Total and Complete Release from the Past - Thank You Lord for the Now You Have Blessed Me with!! Remember He created us beings with a free will, we can make choices; scripture makes it clear what Christ did for us so that the past can completely be the past. No Matter What It Is! The rest is up to each of us. Are we going to let go of that past? Are we going accept our forgiveness? Are we going to accept, believe and have that uplifted faithful spirit?
I choose to - I choose to be forgiven, to forgive myself and others, to forgive and even in parts forget the past. To decide the past doesn't have power over me. I choose all the positive and good memories. I choose life. I choose my Now.
Father, I realize my helplessness in saving myself and I glory in Christ Jesus has done for me. I let go - put all aside all passed sources of my confidence - counting them worthless than nothing, in order that I may experience Christ and become one with him.
Lord, I have received Your Son and he has given me the authority power, privilege, and right, to become your child.
I unfold my past and put into proper perspective those things that are behind. I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the son of God, who live loved me and gave himself for me. I trust in you, Lord, with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all of my ways I acknowledge you, and you will make my paths straight.
I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him and his death, and so, to attain the resurrection from the dead. So, whatever it takes, it will be one who lives in the flash newness of life of those who are alive from the dead.
I don't mean to say that I am perfect. I haven't learned all I should, but I keep working toward that day and I will finally be all that Christ saved me for and wants me to be.
I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: regardless of my past, I look forward to what lies ahead. I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which you are calling me to heaven because of what Christ Jesus did for me.
In his name I pray Amen.
“But whatever things were gain to me, these I have considered as loss for the sake of the Messiah. More than that, I consider all things to be loss in comparison to the surpassing value of the knowledge of Messiah Yeshua my Lord. Because of Him I have suffered the loss of all things; and I consider them garbage in order that I might gain Messiah and be found in Him not having my righteousness derived from Torah, but one that is through trusting in Messiah—the righteousness from God based on trust.”
Philippians 3:7-9 TLV
“But to as many as did receive and welcome Him, He gave the authority (power, privilege, right) to become the children of God, that is, to those who believe in (adhere to, trust in, and rely on) His name–[Isa. 56:5.]”
John 1:12 AMPC
“For day and night Your hand [of displeasure] was heavy upon me; my moisture was turned into the drought of summer. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!”
Psalm 32:4 AMPC
“I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,”
Philippians 3:13 AMPC
“I have been crucified with Christ [in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ (the Messiah) lives in me; and the life I now live in the body I live by faith in (by adherence to and reliance on and complete trust in) the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”
Galatians 2:20 AMPC
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;”
Proverbs 3:5 NIV
“I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.”
Philippians 3:10-11 NIV
“We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.”
Romans 6:4-7 NIV
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:12-14 NIV
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